The Joe Rogaine Experience - Volume 6
Meet Joe Rogaine, the mixed martial arts comedian who is all about the hair. Join Joe, Stephen, Satan and Vicente in the Garden of Weed & Feed as they listen to an asshole sing!
We followed Satan as he led us through the Garden. While we walked Satan explained,
I just planted a new batch of Purple Heaven Kush. It’s my own strain and gives you like a mellow high combined with some mild hallucinations. I also have some homemade beers and there is some chilled vodka.
Satan led us through a maze of giant bushes that held fruits of all sorts. The massive fruit hung like boulders from the bushes. Then we entered a cornfield with corn stalks the size of trees. We emerged in a clearing where massive pot plants stretched into the sky. A six-foot hookah sat on the ground surrounded by chairs. A fire pit burned next to the hookah. Satan said, “Have a seat while I fire this thing up.”
Satan grabbed a burning log and put a hookah hose in his mouth and began lighting a massive bud that was in the top of the hookah chamber. We all joined in and began smoking the Devil’s Weed.
I watched as the world was moving in slow motion. Satan kept looking at me talking really slow, “Dude, I got the munchies. Do you?”
I watched as Stephen ran around the trunk of a pot plant screaming, “Joe, fucking cut it out! That shit is nasty!”
Joe laughed while bending over and pointing his bare ass at Stephen. Every time Stephen peeked out from behind the plant, Joe shot a hairball at him out of his ass. I watched for a few minutes, until I had an idea. I stood up and said, “Joe, I just had a great idea. Can you make your hair grow into words and then shoot them out of your ass?”
Joe stood up and answered, “You know I never tried that. Let’s see if I can do it.”
Joe grunted and then shot the word, “Shit” out of his ass. The word faded and disappeared quickly. All of us began laughing as Joe began shooting curse words out of his ass. He did this for a few seconds and then stopped and laughed, “Okay, okay, so if I am going to use this in a routine I need something else.”
Joe took out his iPhone and started playing a song but without the lyrics. While the song played, Joe began shooting the song lyrics out of his ass,
♬Take out the papers and trash! ♬
A Note From Vince
The Epic Short Stories are a Series. You should read them all from the beginning in order.