In a valiant effort to save Joe Rogaine, Thuy Trang leads SHIT into Thai Town to find the one person who can save Joe, but Vicente pays the ultimate price. Will SHIT return to Heaven in time?
Trigger Warning: Epics are not good reading for religious zealots, especially Christians, sexually uptight pricks, or stupid people.
*All books in the Epic Short Story Series contain adult content.
The Epic Short Stories are satirical, sometimes raunchy narratives poking fun at religion, entertainment, and society. Written originally as a concept for animation, the Epics soon developed into tiny fiction installments made available on KDP.
Chapter 1. Race to Heaven
“Hurry! This way!” Thuy Trang ran ahead and ducked into an alley. We followed her to the alley’s end, hung a right, and stopped, finding Thuy waiting. “We can’t let them see where we are going, or they’ll kill the victim.”
Kimbo Slice peered around the corner. “I can try to hold them off.”
Thuy replied, “No, we have to stick together. We might need all of us to make it into the courtroom. You know the Archangels will be waiting for us.”
Carrie Fisher tried a door, and it opened. “In here.”
Everyone rushed inside a room on the back of a motel, and Carrie closed and locked the door. Silence fell on the room while we peeked from behind drapes as the serial killers stopped in the alley. Richard Speck ordered Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy, “Split up; they didn’t get far. The victim must live nearby.”
Dahmer and Bundy headed into the adjacent streets as Speck checked doors on the motel, and finding our room locked he moved on. I looked around the room and whispered, “Wow. I thought this place seemed familiar. I think they film a lot of porn here.”
Thuy and Carrie glared at me as Thuy whispered, “Only you would know that, creep.”
“I am not a creep. I am a connoisseur of fine artistic sexuality.”
“Is that a nice way of saying you’re constantly wanking to porn?” asked Carrie.
“Well, yeah, if you want to put it in the most vulgar terms possible, Carrie.” I shook my head.
Thuy flapped her hand at me. “Shh! I think we’re clear to go, but we need to be quiet.”
I whispered, “Where does the victim live?”
Thuy said, “About a block away.”
I asked, “Maybe we should contact Heaven and see if Don and Stephen can send some help?”
Carrie tapped the face of her watch. “There’s no time. We only have an hour before the trial starts.”
Thuy nodded. “Carrie’s right; there’s no time. Once we have the victim, we’ll call Heaven and get them to open the ASS.”
“Who is this victim? What’s the name?” I asked.Thuy said, “Her name is Sibil Vine.”