It takes a lot of booze to be a writer…

There is a certain kind of insanity that must exist in writers.  This is especially true in hack writing. To endlessly write meaningless articles or papers requires some insanity.  Luckily, booze is an antidote for being crazy.

It takes a lot of booze to be a writer.

In my case, writing is an endless stream of articles, papers, and marketing content.  Most of it is meaningless and repetitive. Imagine waking up and starting to write and not stopping until the evening.  When writing is an all-day event it can make you nuts. To make this worse, being in the essay and paper business amplifies the repetitiveness of the task. I have rewritten certain papers six or seven times. The only time that is left for artistic writing is at the end of the day. Your brain is so fried by this point that all you can do is stare at Netflix like a zombie.  In order to decompress- alcohol is needed. 

I don’t know about other writers but drinking for me is not an inspirational tool.  Drinking is a stress release. There is only so much writing I can accomplish while drinking because at some point I am too tanked to type. There is some inspiration that stems from drinking in the form of stories that a person accumulates over time.  Even those stories can get repetitive.

Most of the writers I know struggled most of their lives to be recognized as a writer. When you think about this struggle for a moment, the need for booze reveals itself. First, you need to be egotistical enough to believe that people will want to read what you have written. Second, if you have anything worth saying, the words didn’t occur because you thought like everyone else. In order to write something unique, comedic, thought provoking, or scary, you really need to be able to think outside of normality.  If you are egotistical and can think abnormally, then you are likely to be a good writer. However, being egotistical, self-absorbed, and thinking abnormally is not a recipe for happiness.  It’s my opinion, that writers are prone to all sorts of issues such as depression, anger, and other negative conditions. Writing is a passion that can only be satisfied through a willingness to surrender a certain amount of happiness and satisfaction with life. The more you are willing to give up- the better the writer and the more you drink.  

Along with being crazy and self-absorbed, you are also likely to have a lot of stress because it takes time to write and be recognized. Just wait until the first time someone tells you that something you wrote is best used for wiping your ass. Then there are the publishers. Thankfully, Amazon put most of them out of business. Imagine sending out manuscripts repeatedly and being rejected. You are going to be unhappy a lot of the time when trying to be a writer, and for this you will need lots of booze.

Here is the real kick in the ass with being a writer.  You will likely spend many years working some job you hate until you can get published or land a gig writing. During those years of unpaid writing, you will struggle with careers, relationships, and most social situations. This struggle will be the result of your insanity and arrogance. Ironically, you will need all of that misery because if you don’t live that way- you will probably have nothing to write about. All of the great writers have struggled in some way.  So, break out the whisky because it’s going to be a long hard ride, but booze will get you through.  

May 20, 2018