Understanding the Modalities of Stupid
Much like Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences, which in no way shapes this ground-breaking hypothesis, the Multiple Ignorances Theory meets with criticism. Obvious, glaring differences in ignorance should easily guide one to the veracity of the modalities of stupid, yet researchers, psychologists, and all other academics find unusual unanimous agreement, claiming the theory “pseudoscience.” A lack of alternative explanation indicates this unanimous disbelief forms from bias against half-Italian, quarter-German, quarter-Native American men of science lacking formal research credentials and experience in necessary education fields, ignoring this author’s work selling term papers to said education system filled with lazy people. A real discrimination needing attention as a matter of social justice. While this problem is outside the bounds of this paper, the author feels this bias needs mentioning since this paper’s only readership will be academics.
The theory of multiple ignorances posits idiocy variations form specific “modalities of ignorance,” countering the accepted view of a singular form of stupid. The complexity of human ignorance challenges the paradigm of stupidity often voiced in uncritical generalizations, “dumb as a box of rocks,” or “not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Such singularly focused views of ignorance overlook the vast, diverse, and robust forms of stupidity flourishing in the human behavioral spectrum. Driving this theory is the observable evidence easily viewed in nature but ignored by blow-hard academics. Coincidentally, their bias reflects the Illogical-unmathematical modality of ignorance (see Illogical-unmathematical Modality below).
Ignorance cannot be understated nor distilled in a singular form of stupid as the clear derivations of stupidity force the questions of “not what is stupid” but “what kind of stupid are you and to what degree?” Clearly, all people manifest the stupid modalities with some stronger in some areas than others, such as the racist, creationist, conservative who exhibits high degrees of the Noninterpersonal and Unintrapersonal ignorance (see Noninterpersonal and Unintrapersonal Modalities below). When ignorance clarifies in the full, diverse spectrum, the modalities of stupid become the only accurate and precise way to describe dumb.
The Modalities of Stupid
The following modalities of stupid are categorized with videos to help evidence these variations using real-world examples.
The modality of unmusicality describes an area of stupidity formed in a lack of sensitivity to sound, rhythm, and tone, often verbally denoted through people expressing, “Christ! You can’t carry a note to save your life!” “You’re giving me a headache, asshole!” Individuals exhibiting high unmusicality cannot sing, play instruments, or even talk in a tone that does not make the skin crawl.
Spatial Blindness is a form of stupidity in which a person cannot judge space and visualize appropriate dimensions. Spatial blindness takes many forms but appears clearly at the macro layer of society in architectural failures. At the microlayer, individuals often exhibit spatial blindness by not reading directions before putting things together. Both layers confound with individuals willing to argue the lack of need to read such directions.
The unlinguistic-illiterate lacks ability with words and language, most often making terrible joke tellers, unskilled writers, and cannot remember events and dates like birthdays. Most notable examples appear as content article writers and bombing comedians.
The illogical-unmathematical person lacks logic, has no abstract thinking, and exhibits no critical thought. People showing high levels of this modality can be identified by surrounding persons, screaming, “You unreasonable son of bitch!” or “What the hell are you saying?” Most notable in those of high illogical-unmathematical ability are the glaring thought contradictions.
The klutzy-kinesthetic intelligence presents as a lack of control over one’s body and inability to play sports and perform movements without having accidents most of the time. Often called “bench warmers” in youth, these people are undaunted by two left feet and press ahead, committing embarrassing feats in front of millions.
Noninterpersonal ignorance manifests in a lack of sensitivity to people’s feelings, moods, race, gender, or the entire person. This modality of ignorance is a vast and diverse form of dumb and readily exhibits in most Republicans. While one might think a person of high noninterpersonal ignorance could walk a dog without offending an entire race of people, this assumption proves wrong.
This domain of ignorance refers to unintrospective and self-reflective inability. This form of dumb is the least understood as it is an inward journey of absurdity. The Unintrapersonal gravitate to assumptions and often believe with no good reason that their thoughts are meaningful.
These examples reveal ignorance’s depth and personal obliviousness to one’s stupidity, highlighting the need for modalities of stupid to achieve effective curriculum and policymaking. For instance, teaching stupid people might achieve greater efficacy by taking cameras away from them as well as providing them with honest assertions like, “Don’t do that, dumbass!” None of these lofty goals will actualize until the full spectrum of stupid is realized, stressing the need for continued research.
Gardner, Howard. (2021) I’m just fucking with you Howard
Photo by Michal Matlon on Unsplash