A Climate Change Tutorial: Made Simple For Christians


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Climate Change Made Simple For Christians

An Overview of Climate Change That A Brain Donor Could Understand


Climate change is a complex comparison of many different geological, atmospheric, and ecological sources. Often, the viewpoint of climate change is distilled into an oversimplification of global warming. Global warming is mostly understood in lay terms as the warming of the earth due to the overproduction of greenhouse gasses. Climate change, in essence, represents the long-term alterations in the statistical properties of our climate system. These changes, observed over decades or longer, can be driven by both natural processes and human activities.

Climate Change Viewpoints

There are three primary views pertaining to climate change; global warming, solar irradiance, and natural cycles of the atmosphere. Global warming is the viewpoint that human influences have and are altering the atmosphere by raising the temperature of the planet. This viewpoint is the most widely accepted view from scientists around the world who believe that the release of large amounts of CO2 and chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) (amongst other gasses are creating a greenhouse effect. The effect of global warming is not completely known but we are fairly certain that rising temperatures will not be good for most plant life, animals, or people. While some sources such as environmental groups like Greenpeace, predict catastrophe, groups like Christians seem to think it's not a problem at all and argue against the reality of the planet getting hotter.

Christian Global Warming
A Christian father passing on his global warming stupidity to his son and possibly damaging both of their eyes.

Many Christians argue global warming is not a valid theory. This viewpoint is difficult to define as it includes many different types of Christians, ranging from conspiracy theorists to failed scientists who simply claim that global warming is more political in nature than scientific.

Christian Argument Against Global Warming
"Global warming is just an atheist lie meant stop us from making money. Think about the stupidity! Do you really think humans can heat the earth? What kind of idiots do these Atheist take us for?"

Despite their irrational, greed motivated, nonsensical, faith-based arguments, the consensus of real scientists, who practice scientific method and actually understand the science of the environment, agree that global warming is real and causes climate change.

Solar Irradiance

An alternative perspective on climate change attributes the phenomenon to solar irradiance, implicating increased solar output over the past century as a potential cause of global warming. Given the sun’s historical influence on Earth’s climatic and tidal patterns, it is plausible to consider its role in temperature fluctuations. However, recent studies suggest that changes in solar output over the past century have had negligible impact on Earth’s temperature.

Despite this fact, call it hardheadedness or stupidity, conspiracy nuts Christians have adopted the solar irradiance excuse which makes no sense.

The solar irradiance conspiracy.
Clearly, it is the atheist, homosexual cabal of child molesters attempting to kill all the Christians!

We're not completely sure that Christians believe the Atheist irradiance conspiracy, but logic dictates if they are asinine enough to argue the reality of global warming and believe so strongly that former President Trump did a good job secretly waging war against child molesters running a shadow government – it seems highly probable that Christians are gullible and stupid enough to believe atheists are heating the earth. 

The Effects of Climate Change

Most people agree that climate change is being affected by global warming; however, most disagree on the effects of global warming or the timetables given for some of the predicted events. NASA, the guys and gals who are actual qualified scientists and not pastors, priests, and ministers, warn that climate change is not a future concern but a current reality. Human-induced greenhouse gas emissions are already causing noticeable environmental changes: shrinking glaciers, earlier ice breakups in rivers and lakes, shifts in plant and animal habitats, and premature blooming of plants. Predicted effects of climate change, such as sea ice loss, accelerated sea level rise, and longer heat waves, are now evident. Some phenomena, including droughts, wildfires, and extreme rainfall, are occurring at a faster pace than previously anticipated. 

For example, desertification is a severe effect of climate change, which is thought to spread once it begins, presents a complex set of processes not easily reversed:

  • Climate change/global warming – increased temperatures from greenhouse gasses caused by industry and other anthropogenic activities cause the vegetation to die which protects the land from absorbing heat and losing moisture.
  • Overgrazing- Farm animals allowed to graze and poor management of this activity reduces the plant life further.
  • Population growth- population growth drives more intensive forms of farming which further deplete the soil of nutrients and water. This population growth increases the demand for wood used in construction and for heating (World Bank, 2015) (World Bank, 2015).
  • Drought- Drought has always been a serious issue but this combined with the impact of human mismanagement, natural droughts increase in length as well as in temperature. This increased drought further depletes the land of plant and wildlife and increases the process of desertification.

The faster than predicted pace of climate change dictate we should do something about it before there is a global catastrophe.

Climate Change as an Environmental Justice Issue

Christians, because they don't believe in climate change, don't realize it is an environmental justice issue of great importance to them. Climate change will effect everyone but the people who are impacted the most will be the poor who lack the resources to adjust to the changes. Wealthy people, who can afford to move or buy the things necessary to live comfortably, also happen to the be the people with a much larger carbon footprint because they typically own more cars and larger homes which use more resources (Oliver, 2008). As another example of this problem, the cost of fuel and food will go up with climate change and while everyone will be affected, the poor could face food and travel issues.

When will Christians Accept the Truth About Climate Change

It is obvious to everyone but Christians, the planet’s climate is undergoing radical change and humans play a large role in this process. Although one might disagree with the effects of global warming and the timetables, Christians are hopefully smart enough to see the absolute need for change to preserve the environment, but it's doubtful.

Christians enjoying global warming and rising seas.

Christians love pretending they care about people and kids, especially the unborn, yet keep right on voting for their Christian leaders (Republicans), revealing that they could not care less about the future generations. As long as Christians are making money, enjoying their fossil fuels, using plastic bags, and running air conditioning, why be bothered with inconvenient facts and scientific evidence? No need to worry about rising sea levels, melting ice caps, extreme weather events, and mass extinctions when you have Jesus on your side. After all, it’s not like they have any responsibility for the planet they live on.

Jesus Fish