Thank you for not reading.
Dear Content Writers,
Powering the computer this morning brought immense anticipation to read your many articles packed with things already known. A deep sense of reward from reading your articles caused an excretion of gratitude that took control of the keyboard and penned this letter. To all content writers, I thank you for not reading or researching and instead scribing the unpolluted truth — over and over again.
What wonder fills the eyes when the monitor glows, “Fifty Ways to Live Your Best,” and “How Prayer Improves Your Life,” or “How Gratitude Makes You a Better Person.” Some people see these articles as derivative but not me. Having acquired the attitude of gratitude through the continuous reading of humbleness and mindfulness tactics, I thank you for the many wonderful repetitive masterpieces. For without you, I would not remember these simplistic pseudo-spiritual-religious ideas that you eloquently reinvented in the name of “content” or “news.”
The abundance of such articles shocks the imagination with questions of why the world remains so violent, corrupt, and evil? People simply don’t read the articles, proving the need to reiterate, repeat, paraphrase, and mass produce this literature rather than reading one of the millions of psychology, sociology, philosophy, and other boring evidence-based research reports investigating social issues. Thank you for not reading and discussing that scientific gibberish and instead retelling the truth in your articles.
The power of self-improvement confines not to quasi-religious-semi-philosophic articles, and financial improvement masterpieces garner gratitude with “How to Make Money,” or “How to Earn Passive Revenue from Writing Articles,” and “How to Get Started Buying Real Estate With No Cash.” Writing this important, financial-improvement content is the selfless act of authors choosing to write rather than employ these strategies to make millions. Who knew learning to earn passive revenue held the ease of,
“Just write articles and use some affiliate links.”
“To get started buying real estate without money, just borrow a hundred-grand from your rich uncle.”
Thus, answering the conundrum of earning more cash with the common sense of,
If you want to get rich, then go make a lot of money.
Despite earning nothing, the constant reading of this irrefutable wisdom moves the elusive dream of affluence closer daily. Thank you for not reading any dull finance or business research because continuously hearing your invaluable advice holds the best chance of causing a financial epiphany and inducing filthy richness.
The morning injection of wisdom-infused, derivative reading continues with article after article of, “Three Ways to Manifest Your Desires and Happiness With Positivity.” Who knew thousands of years of philosophy, literature, and science could compress into a simple one-thousand or fewer word article? Much I learned about positive thinking and self-efficacy, which counterintuitively dictates a person’s thoughts exert force beyond influencing the body’s actions, and preaching this finding to the economically and socially disadvantaged will positively change their lives. Thank you for not reading any social research and writing boring articles about systemic racism, class conflict theories, and other nonsense since the solution to all problems are affirmations, smiles, and telling yourself and the universe, “I’m going to be successful!”
I have to go now and read more articles but know I hold nothing but the sincerest appreciation for your efforts. Bravo! Thank you for not reading.